The beginning of the end...

Next week will be the beginning of my last semester in IMU...another 3 months and half to go...I have been waiting for this time...so long...the last battle in IMU..but the war still continue..counting the days that i have left, it looks like i don't have ample time to waste...

By the time,Indeed, mankind is in loss, Except those who believe and do righteous deeds and enjoin each other to the truth and enjoin each other to patience. (103:1-3)

A lot of things i should have done, need to be completed...
Proper planning and discipline implementation...

My friends, let us strive for success In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

IIt's so easy to give up..but not easy to give your best

This couple of weeks, so many things happened. Some were things that make me feel happy and vice versa...Looking back into things that i've done, i was not sure why and how i could do it...
Working so hard...but it seemed my effort to no avail...
To study and to give time for other things...in the very beginning, i feel very enthusiastic...full of commitment...after facing a few obstacles and difficulties, my energy and commitment level started to drop little by little...i'm not sure where to get back my fighting spirit...
sometime i felt like to give up and almost give up with everything after looking at others who seem to be very happy with their life...could spend good time with family...no need to think about finance problem, society or any event matter...they could just focus on study...As for me, facing lots of problems...so stress..no one to share..
After pondering back at how i feel and see things, i remembered verses from Al-Quran and ask for forgiveness from Allah....i was so weak....

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false. (29:2-3)

Maybe, this is part of the test in my life which could strenghten my iman...insyaAllah...

If We give man a taste of Mercy from Ourselves, and then withdraw it from him, behold! he is in despair and (falls into) blasphemy. (11:9)

Maybe when i was given the happy moment and 'rezeki', i seldom be thankful to Allah...that's why Allah gave me the test to make me realise of my mistake and unawareness...
Alhamdulillah...praise be to Allah..

I hope that i will be always by His guidance...Ameen..

Rintihan
Album : RinduMunsyid : Hijjazhttp://liriknasyid.com

Biar berlinangan airmata
Ku takkan hentikannya Biarkan ia menyembuh luka
Hilanglah rasa duka
Tidak ku termampu merentasi liku-liku
Oh tidak ku mampu menghadapi semua itu
Oh sungguh ku tak upaya
Jangan dibiarkan jerih perih kehidupan
Bisa meleraikan iman
Kan hancur semuanya
Walau menitis airmata darah
Tak bisa merubah segalanya
Melainkan taubat nasuha
Moga kan diterima
Namun ku percaya
Masih ada kesudahannya
Kerana allah itu Maha kaya maha mendengar
Rintihan hamba-hambanya Kerana sesiapa bertaqwa kepadanya
Pasti akan ada Jalan keluarnya Rezeki yang tidak disangka-sangka
Cukup allah baginya Berkuasa segala-galanya Terima seadanya

Late post...but still relevant

It has quite some time after the last visit of Tun Dr Mahathir to IMU..If I'm not mistaken,it was during second week of my rotation schedule. 7 July 2009...That's the day i will remember as long as i can...

After hearing to my friends that they will get involved in presentation/exhibition during Tun's visit to IMU, i felt a little envious..how lucky they are...Chance to meet a great leader of Malaysia..

Tun entered the Auditorium hall of IMU about 9.45am...I was sitting at the farthest seat in the Audi, only could barely see him in crowd of people guarded by his body guards...He smiled from the time he entered until he was seated...so generous of smile...

Later, Tun was invited to give his speech...He spoke with a very good tone and pace...He stood still while giving speech and sometime inserting some humour into his speech..making people enjoyed with his speech...He shared some of his experience and vision...

Later on, a dialogue session with students was opened with title of "Leadership in medicine"

Some students asked their questions and answered by Tun slowly and with wisdom...i guessed some of the questions were not really meet the title/theme...Neveetheless, Tun gave his best to make it clear to students what they need to do to be a great leader in the field of medicine...

Right after the MC annouced the end of the dialogue session, Tun spend a few minutes to interact with the students...Many students took the chance to take photo with him...and some shook his hand...I was not sure what were they intention to take photo or shake hand with Tun..Maybe just for feeling proud, etc... At that time I was still at my seat..looking from far the situation..deep in my heart, i really want to shake his hand...one thing that keep coming in my mind...HOW do really great leader/people shake their hands? Will i shake like them in the future?

After for some time, i thought that i won't have the chance to shake his hand as the crowd that surround Tun was getting larger...

Then, I had an idea..I went out from Audi through rear door..and waited for Tun to come out through the front door...

Luckily, after went through the big crowd, i managed to get close to Tun and i put out my hand to shake him...Suddenly he take my hand with a smile and i shook his hand...

At last, i could feel a handshake of a great leader... :)

The other day in GP clinic

Today i came early again. Just in case because the doctor will evaluate my GP posting and part of it is my enthusiasm. Thus, i need to show him that i was really interested in learning J
However, Dr Rasmani opened his consultation room a little bit late. I brought my pharmacology lecture notes should it become handy when i need it especially when patients themselves say drugs names but i did not know anything about it. What a shame..Even a ‘pak cik’ aged more than 50 years old could remember sophisticated drugs name very well..atenolol, enalapril, captopril..These were the words that i heard from an old man today. I was blurred at that time and unable to recall what type of drug was it. Fortunately, i had the notes with me. At least i could flip through and refurbished my brain. It has been quite some time my brain did not have ‘defragmentation’.
One of the cases that i found interesting today was a man infected with cutaneous larva migrans (CLM). Previously this patient left hand was pricked by thorn while he was working in his orchid and had been treated only for the pricked wound. But few days later (today), he came again to the clinic complaining of itchiness and ulcer which migrating. Dr Rasmani quickly made his diagnosis of CLM after looking at history and observing the pattern of ulcer formed. The patient was treated with injection of steroid at the site of infection. According to Dr Rasmani, i was lucky because this was a rare case.
I managed to see how the real scabies, chicken pox, measles and herpes patients presented with and the appropriate managements. Apart from that, I had the chance to listen to a conversation about a patient asking for second opinion about contraceptive pills with the doctor. It was a new and educating experience for me. Furthermore, Dr Rasmani also gave us the opportunity to watch his negotiation with medicine suppliers.
Besides that, today i realised that how easy it was to get a Medical Certificate (MC). Throughout my life i had never known about MC nor asking for it. During this clinic posting i could see almost everyone would ask for MC even though for minor illness such as cough. Moreover some of them asked for MC because they wanted to take care of their sick spouses although they were healthy.
From my observation today, i could describe that most of patients that came to the clinic seeking for treatment were obese or overweight. Majority of them also came with chronic diseases like hypertension and diabetes. This really made me aware that we need to educate our society about healthy diet and exercise as we know it is preventable.
Overall, i understood that being a GP, we need to have at least some knowledge in all medical fields especially O&G and paediatric. This was because we would have patients from all kinds of background and presented with various signs and symptoms.
“This post seems to be so schematic”-mcm report je..skema...

This few weeks i learnt something

I learnt that we should not say ‘i will try’. Instead we should say ‘i must’ or ‘i will’.
Because when we say ‘i will try’, other people tend to think that we are not serious in what we are doing. Let say when someone invites you to his/her house for a function, then you reply ‘i will try to come’. It shows that you are not sure or basically you are not coming at all.
In Malay community we usually use the word ‘InsyaAllah’ inappropriately. When someone request or ask us to come to the surau for ta’lim, for example, we would say ‘InsyaAllah’ with intonation that sounds like we will not be going. For me, this is not appropriate as ‘InsyaAllah’ word, from what i’ve learnt, it means ‘with Allah permission’ (please correct me if i’m wrong). So, we are making a promise, whatever happens we must try to fulfil that promise unless Allah does not let it to happen.
In a nut shell, we must use the correct term at the correct time, context and intonation because what and how we say something will tell people what type of person we are...so be careful in everything we say.

First day in GP clinic

(Klinik Rakan Medik-Dr Rasmani)- 22/6/09
When i woke up this morning, i felt not very happy and lack of enthusiasm about going to this clinic posting. Many things came into my minds. How the doctor would treat and accommodate me? Will he share his experiences? Somehow i just got up, got my shower, wear my clothes and ready for the journey.
I made my mind that i must learn something from this posting by hook or by crook. I should use this opportunity to the fullest because this would be the only chance for me to experience the Malaysia’s GP before continuing my clinical phase overseas.
While i was on the way to the door, my handphone rang. I received a message from Belal(who was joining me for GP posting) asking for me to wait and come with him as he did not know the way to get there. I become more confident. At least there would be someone to accompany me throughout this posting and help me in answering the doctor questions if i was asked. Seriously, actually i was not ready mentally and in term of knowledge because i did not make any revision. My knowledge was rusted.
We managed to arrive at the clinic early, about 8.55 am. Dr Rasmani had not come yet. The staff, Ms Diana and Ms Mila invited us into the consultation room. So we waited for the doctor. Before we came in, we could see a few patients had already queuing at the registration counter.
The doctor greeted us and we introduced ourselves. The doctor seemed to be very happy to receive us which made me more comfortable to learn from him. During morning session, we managed to see around 40 patients. It was so quick that each patient consultation only took about 5 minutes or less. Dr Rasmani did his job very well in diagnosing and giving advices to his patients. I could see that most of his patients were very close and know him very well. Every patient that came out from his consultation room would have a smile on their faces.
Today i learnt many things after spending 12 hours in the clinic and seeing about 150 patients. Dr Rasmani taught us many things. He showed to us how is the real life as a doctor or to be specific, general practitioner. He worked 7 days a week, 12 hours perday with hardly any time to spend for himself and family. If he took holidays means he had to close his clinic because he was the only doctor works in the clinic. He said that he did not mind to spend most of his time in the clinic because he enjoyed the profession and helping other people made him feel contented.
When i reflected to what he said, i asked myself, “Am i ready to devote my life to this profession? This student life made me carried away with entertainment and far away from my true objectives of life.
I hope from now on i would be more conscious and get the clearer picture about my path in pursuit of this noble profession. Hopefully one day i am able to become like most of doctor who are willing to dedicate their life to serve the human kind holistically.

Down memory lane...Matriculation

I could still barely remember when I got my offer letter from matriculation. I felt very ecstatic as I would go to a new place and get to continue my studies. That was the first time I went to a place that was very far from home and my parents, all by myself. I did not really know where I had the strength and bravery to go there without anyone else accompanying me for registration. Maybe I was so naive and innocent. Not knowing what was the real world outside there really like.
I bought a flight ticket that would arrive at 6 pm. I was not sure why i bought that late ticket. Oh....yea...i remember....It was because all direct tickets from Kuching to Labuan were fully booked. That caused me to buy a transit ticket which was far more expensive as i would be taking two different flights. The cheapest that i could get was flight that arrived at 6 pm. So, i have no choice because my budget was low at that time. I used money from leftover scholarship saving that i keep after done secondary school. Luckily it was just enough to get me to Labuan.
Arriving in Labuan airport, i was very anxious as my friend’s mother who supposed to pick me up there did not show up. I called my friend. He said his mother won’t be able to come and bring me to the matriculation. I felt like stranded in an island without direction and hope. With all the big baggages that i carried with me, it was very difficult to move anywhere to find a cab. Suddenly i saw a group of uniform people with someone raising sign board written “Matrikulasi Labuan”. There came my savior..i approached them and ask the person raising the signboard, “Saya nk pergi daftar di Matrikulasi Labuan, boleh tolong hantarkan?” So, they brought me to their bus and after waiting for few minutes, we headed for matriculation. I have mixed feeling during my time in the bus. Happy, worried, glad and nervous. What intriguing me the most at that time was,why they were still waiting for people although i was sure that registration counter had closed at that time, which was about 6.30 pm. It was already dark when i arrived like 7.30 pm here.
Life in matriculation was not very easy for me. Everything was in English. That was the first time i know the word ‘potassium’ which i used to call it ‘kalium’ during chemistry lecture. Almost every words that lecturer said or written in textbook were new words for me especially during biology lecture. Just imagine, i did not know what ‘secrete’ means. When i looked back, i felt like i had learned so little or nothing when i was in school. But my English was so poor during secondary school, so no wonder it would be difficult for me.
Nevertheless, i tried to improve myself. I had to get a book to write new words and find the meaning and memorize the new words. As i was doing that i could see my friends around me developed and learnt faster than me. I was left behind and unable to catch up with their level. When i got into discussion with them, i would feel lost. It made me feel so depressed and isolated.
To be continued... :)

Creating a starting point...

Living in this world called Earth, life has been challenging and full of great experience.
All this while we have been busy achieving and realising our own objectives and goals which make us lose track of ourselves.
To be a great person, it is important for us to have time for ourselves to review and to ponder again at what we had gone through all day, months or years...
That is why i'm creating this blog to give myself a chance of to reflect myself so that i will still be on the right track.
As mind will change over time, contributed by many factors, when i get to know what my mind is keeping, reasoning, gaining, thinking and processing, it will give the good control to maneuvre my body to the right path..
I hope you will see something in what i'll be writing and posting and comment if you feel need to do so..whatever it is, i'm happy to have you reading my blog. Thank you...see you in the next post..
Mind's metamorphosis